Jonker 88, Melaka: Down Go the Kids

The iconic church in Melaka, Malaysia. This was one of the images I made in the morning, just before the daughters started dropping like flies

In the middle of Melaka’s historic Chinatown is a well-known restaurant called Jonker 88. It is famous for two things: cendol (an icy dessert), and assam laksa (a sour version of the noodle dish eaten throughout Malaysia).

But for us it will always be associated with something else. Jonker 88 is where our kids started to drop like flies.

Getting Out the Door with Teenagers

We showed up at Jonker 88 just in time for an early lunch, which was unfortunate since we were there for our breakfast.

The reason we didn't get there until lunchtime is because it takes FOREVER for my daughters to get ready and get out the door in the morning. I had gotten up early to go out and take pictures. When I got back to the hotel at about 8am, everyone was still in bed.

I roused everyone and started the long process of showering, tooth brushing, hair brushing, dressing, swapping skirts for the day and dressing again, forgetting that we were trying to get out the door and chatting with friends back home online, being reminded that "we need to get to the restaurant before it gets too crowded!", disappearing into the bathroom to do who knows what, losing and finding shoes/socks/passports/emergency cash, and finally heading out the door.

This ordeal took about two and a half hours, so it was about 10:30 when we left our hotel. Which is far too late for me to remain cheerful/patient/reasonable when I haven’t had breakfast yet.

Jonker 88

We headed straight to Jonker 88 only to find it absolutely packed. The restaurant owners clearly hate everyone, because the place was set up backwards. You have to make your way to the back of the Jonker 88 to order food, and then fight your way forward again to try to find a table in the front of the place.

However, once I got to the back to order, I realized it wasn’t actually the back. It was the middle! There was a seating section in the rear as well! We were surrounded by places to sit down and happily slurp some noodles, but not a single seat was unoccupied.

So we hatched a plan. I got in line to order food while my wife and daughters 1 and 3 watched the front of the place for a seat to open up. Daughter 2 stayed with me to keep an eye on the tables in the back of the place.

If anyone spotted an open table, she was instructed to push, shove, elbow, bite and spit her way to that table, and then defend it mercilessly until the rest of us could arrive to help out.

So I stood there in line trying to figure out what to order. There was a large rectangular sign with a picture of each of the dishes served. We have found that the dish a place is known for is usually in the top left-hand corner of these types of menus. So that is what I planned to order.

The Cold, Clammy Hands of Heat Exhaustion

When I was just about to the front of the line, daughter 2 came up to me. “I don’t feel good,” she said. I took one look at her pale face and unfocused eyes, and quickly wrapped my arm around her, afraid she was going to collapse.

I turned to look for my wife, and fortunately we made eye contact immediately. “Help!” I mouthed and she came quickly. I passed daughter 2 off to her and they both headed away from me into the front dining room area.

Shortly after, I got to the front of the line and ordered food. It came quickly and I made my way out into the front dining room to find my wife whom I supposed would still be taking care of daughter 2. But instead I found her supporting daughter 3!

Wait, what happened to daughter 3, and where is daughter 2?

It turned out that at almost at exact the same time that daughter 2 started feeling ill, daughter 3 started to exhibit the same symptoms. Their pupils dilated and they got lightheaded. They broke out in a clammy sweat and were a little disoriented.

The restaurant owner saw us and offered some water. Once the two girls got a drink they were a little bit better. I led both outside to a park with benches and shade right next door to Jonker 88 (and I would suggest if you ever go to Jonker 88 you simply eat here to get away from the crowd), while my wife went to the pharmacy a couple of doors down to buy some rehydration salts.

Once the girls got some rest and drank plenty of liquids, they felt much better. But the incident was fairly scary for them.

We were far more careful after this. We had just assumed the girls would complain if they were thirsty, but they didn’t. From this point on, we made it a priority to get everyone to drink plenty when we were out in the sun.

Southeast Asia’s heat is nothing to trifle with. Now we know better. Because travel.